Stanley the Bearhearted

In the process of reconditioning my thoughts and belief system, one of the things I have been thinking about is possessions. I have had this in my head for a while. I started conditioning myself when I left my marriage to be happy with less, but the whole concept has grown. In the midst of all this downsizing, I came to realize that I want to look back at the end of my life with memories that are precious. I could care less if I end up with objects. I only need a few things to make me happy. As long as I am breathing, sharing good times with those I hold dear, and seeking adventure, I am truly happy.

That aside, I began to wonder – what is the most precious thing I own? The answer is something you will never guess. It is not anything given to me in marriage, or by my daughter, or from any love of my life. It is not worth anything to anyone other than me. In fact, if the average person were to look at it, they would see something broken down and worn out. To me, however, it is the thing that has seen me through the darkest days of my life. Any ideas?

Yes, folks. The most precious thing I own is a careworn teddy bear. He has but one arm, and his name is Stanley. Stanley has been with me since I was small. He was given to me by my great aunt’s son Stanley (yep, I named the bear after the giver).  Stanley was there when I moved to a new school. He was there when various boyfriends broke up with me. Stanley saw me through an abusive relationship, the fear of a new mommy when her baby does not move during a stress test, and through 2 marriages. Stanley was there when I asked why my step father was killed tragically. Stanley was also there when I hoped that my step mother would survive the fall from her tree stand. Stanley has seen many tragedies, survived many tears, and always been my ultimate confidant. When I don’t know what to do or think, he is what I hold and ask for the strength to go on. When I feel like I am not good enough, pretty enough, or that something is wrong with me, I hold Stanley and know that these things will pass.

If I need a hug, I have my other teddy - Duffy bear. He rubs it in Stanley’s face that he has two arms. Stanley takes it in stride, as he is the Chuck Norris of bears and doesn’t need two stinking arms. I am a forty-seven-year-old woman with a teddy bear (two actually) and I don’t care who knows it. Take away everything I have – my books, my DVD’s, my clothes – just don’t take Stanley from me. I will probably be that old woman carrying her teddy with her that everyone thinks is a little crazy. Am I really? 

I have many people that I can reach out to when I need someone, and I do. However, sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts and cry it out. Stanley is there. He is also there in the good times too. When things are good, he usually observes from the shelf next to his pal.

Life is too short to worry about things. Embrace every day. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. In the end, you have everything you have ever needed. You just have to see it.

Until we meet again,

Angie