Saturday Walks and Music lead to Reminiscing

I think listening to music is putting me in touch with the inner demons. It’s crazy. It’s powerful.

I woke up on a rainy Saturday morning, and went for a walk. This is not unusual, other than I was forced to carry an umbrella. I’ve discovered in the course of many early morning neighborhood strolls that I need music. If I walk with another person, I’m fine. If I walk by myself, music is a requirement. I lose myself in the music, and that’s a good thing.

I’ll even age myself a bit – “We’ll go dancing in the dark, walking through the park and reminiscing.” Reminiscing can happen. It often depends on the song, the lyrics, and my mood. The combo of the three can make me remember good times or bad times. I can be emotional, and from time to time, music has moved me to tears. Again, not unusual. Heck, I can watch a commercial on television and be moved to tears. Even animated films that I know are not real have made me cry. Tears are good. We should never be ashamed to cry.

This morning’s memory was a moment I will always remember. I listened to the song “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. I was taken back to the performance on television in December of 2010, where he performed the song acoustically on the Grammy Nominations show. If you have never listened to it performed this way, I recommend it highly. I got the chills the first time, and I still do. Here's the link: Bruno Mars "Just The Way You Are"

You might think – It’s only a song. It is and it’s not. The lyrics are important.

Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday
Yeah

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?"
I say,


When I see your face (face, face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile, smile...)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause, girl, you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are).
Yeah

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday,

Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say,


When I see your face (face, face...)
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile (smile, smile...)
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause, girl, you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)

The way you are
The way you are
Girl, you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)


When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)
Just the way you are (are)
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause, girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

Yeah

When I listened – really listened – I knew that my life would never be the same again. I have spent most of my adult life in the shadows of other people. I was just there. But to be amazing – was I? Was I more than just a mom, a wife (at the time), a daughter and so on? Accepting compliments was something I could never do. Now I blindly grasped the fact that I might be amazing. I might also be beautiful. There might actually be someone out there that thinks that about me, or could someday. Wow!

This was another turning point in becoming who I am today. I thought, I can really ask a guy if I look ok, and he could tell me I’m  amazing and he wouldn’t change a thing?  Guys can love the things you think are wrong with you? Am I awake, or is this Bizarro Rockford? I’d become accustomed to having flaws, or told I needed to lose weight, or I couldn’t possibly be right. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was able to see beyond the shell that I put there. You know what? I was amazing.

From that point, I moved forward. Now I am unstoppable. The best gift this year for my birthday (and a lot of stiff competition there) came in the form of words. I was told that I am beautiful.  I may not be perfect, may not be a size 6, and can be a little kooky occasionally – but I am 100% me.

All of you that play a part in my life are amazing. Just the way you are. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Enjoy your weekend,

Angie