Stanley the Bearhearted

In the process of reconditioning my thoughts and belief system, one of the things I have been thinking about is possessions. I have had this in my head for a while. I started conditioning myself when I left my marriage to be happy with less, but the whole concept has grown. In the midst of all this downsizing, I came to realize that I want to look back at the end of my life with memories that are precious. I could care less if I end up with objects. I only need a few things to make me happy. As long as I am breathing, sharing good times with those I hold dear, and seeking adventure, I am truly happy.

That aside, I began to wonder – what is the most precious thing I own? The answer is something you will never guess. It is not anything given to me in marriage, or by my daughter, or from any love of my life. It is not worth anything to anyone other than me. In fact, if the average person were to look at it, they would see something broken down and worn out. To me, however, it is the thing that has seen me through the darkest days of my life. Any ideas?

Yes, folks. The most precious thing I own is a careworn teddy bear. He has but one arm, and his name is Stanley. Stanley has been with me since I was small. He was given to me by my great aunt’s son Stanley (yep, I named the bear after the giver).  Stanley was there when I moved to a new school. He was there when various boyfriends broke up with me. Stanley saw me through an abusive relationship, the fear of a new mommy when her baby does not move during a stress test, and through 2 marriages. Stanley was there when I asked why my step father was killed tragically. Stanley was also there when I hoped that my step mother would survive the fall from her tree stand. Stanley has seen many tragedies, survived many tears, and always been my ultimate confidant. When I don’t know what to do or think, he is what I hold and ask for the strength to go on. When I feel like I am not good enough, pretty enough, or that something is wrong with me, I hold Stanley and know that these things will pass.

If I need a hug, I have my other teddy - Duffy bear. He rubs it in Stanley’s face that he has two arms. Stanley takes it in stride, as he is the Chuck Norris of bears and doesn’t need two stinking arms. I am a forty-seven-year-old woman with a teddy bear (two actually) and I don’t care who knows it. Take away everything I have – my books, my DVD’s, my clothes – just don’t take Stanley from me. I will probably be that old woman carrying her teddy with her that everyone thinks is a little crazy. Am I really? 

I have many people that I can reach out to when I need someone, and I do. However, sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts and cry it out. Stanley is there. He is also there in the good times too. When things are good, he usually observes from the shelf next to his pal.

Life is too short to worry about things. Embrace every day. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. In the end, you have everything you have ever needed. You just have to see it.

Until we meet again,

Angie

Rub the Buddha's Belly

What a glorious month January is.

I say that a bit sarcastically, but I am learning to appreciate every moment, good and bad, that I have.

Things that are important come to you, just as you are. You don’t have to chase them. They will just happen. Sometimes in life we try too hard. In trying to force things, we end up disappointed and disillusioned. Those unpleasant stressful feelings? Those come from worrying about things that have not happened yet, being sad about things you think might have been (but is not necessarily what may have occurred) and living in fear of the next thing to come, what may go wrong with it or looking foolish. If I spend all my time living in fear, I am not looking at what is happening right now. I am not enjoying the feeling I am having, the wonderful experience I am a part of, the thrill that comes from living in the now. I don’t ever want to look back at my life and say I didn’t live.

It is important when those doubts start to get to you that you stop. Look them up and down, and think – what is the absolute worst that can happen? And then – what can I do about it? There is always something you can do. Realizing that the power is within you makes those fears and doubts easier to deal with. Instead of the elephant in the room, it becomes a small mouse in the corner. It might frighten you a little bit, but a mouse is something you can overcome.

In life, we need to appreciate each and every day, learn from it, and work with whatever come about.

If we keep life simple, it has its own power.

We don’t need to complain for the sake of complaining. Negativity breeds much more negativity. It becomes strangling, holding you back from the accomplishments and happiness that could be part of your life.

Embrace your inner nature. It makes you who you are. Whether you enjoy reading, traveling, exploring, dancing – there is something that is unique to you. Don’t ever compromise that value, that special piece of you. Everything in life has a place – a function. Some people don’t realize the contribution they bring. If you respect what is inside you, it will serve you well. You will know where you truly belong.

Take those things that others think are weaknesses and make them your strengths. I am an emotional person. All my friends and family know this. I can cry at the drop of a hat. But, there is no denying that I feel. I may be emotional, but that emotion makes me compassionate. It lets others know the depths of my feelings for them. Emotions are scary sometimes, but if you feel it, don’t hide it.

Man is a fickle creature. He is at times led away from his true nature. This is why it is important to understand who you are and respect yourself. Don’t be fooled into becoming what you are not.

A lot of these ideas are paraphrased from the Tao of Pooh and the Te of Piglet. I think one of the best things I read is this:

How can you get very far,

If you don’t know who you are?

How can you do what you ought,

If you don’t know what you’ve got?

And if you don’t know which to do

Of all the things in front of you –

Then what you’ll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue.

Of all the best that can come true

If you know What and Which and Who.

I am living every moment with enjoyment for what it is. I have had a few spectacular ones already this year. Here’s to living many more, and not giving up ever what may be. I will live the adventurer's life. 

Until we meet again,

Angie