What a week.
I am 3 weeks into my new job. I like it, but will admit that it is stressful. I want to shut off at the end of the day. Just off. No words. No deep thoughts. Just off. Now, anyone who knows me even a little bit knows my mind is on 24-7. I try to go to bed early to try to alleviate said stress and I make more. It goes a little bit like this:
*opens eye* 11 pm - Body:I'm tired - go back to sleep, Stress: Hey girl - what's up? Mind: Are you two kidding me right now?*after 30 minutes, dozes off*
*opens eye* 1 am - Body: Knock it off! Stress: Let's discuss your love life and why it sucks, Mind: If I fall asleep right now, I will still get a few hours in. *tosses and turns, falls asleep 45 minutes later*
*opens both eyes* 3 am - Body: I hurt everywhere, are we seriously going to do this? Stress: Let's think about what's wrong with you, and why you can't get along with certain people. Mind: Fuuuuck! Now I have to pee. *Gets up, uses the bathroom. Checks phone. Thinks about work for tomorrow. Goes on for about 30 minutes. Falls back into a deep sleep*
4:15 AM - Guess what? Let's get up! *Body, Stress, and Mind all give the alarm clock the middle finger*
Yeah, it's a nightly dance I perform called life. Good stuff.
On to the lessons.
I have discovered a few things:
1) If you watch Arrow and Flash before bed, you have some pretty amazing Superhero type dreams. Might be why I keep waking up in a pile of covers like I'm thrashing around in bed. Trust me, there is no other reason involved.
2)Alcohol is a pleasant thing. I'm not saying I need it every night - exactly. A few glasses of wine relaxes me. Several glasses makes me happy. Shots make me stupid. Wine is good, vodka is better, rum is ok, but tends to give me a headache. Tequila- well, that's the liquor that makes bad Angie come out. This is why margaritas tend to be no more than two. Whiskey- various unpredictable reactions. Drunk Angie = honest Angie. Once I've had a few, I no longer have a filter.
3)Singing in the car makes me happy. Kareoke after a few drinks also makes me happy. I suck far less than I thought. No one booed and threw things at me. Granted, it was Jimmie, Linda, and I - but if you really suck, you can gage it from your friends' reactions.
4)I am way proud of myself for taking my Minnesota trip. I am ok being alone, but I had spent the past couple birthdays with a companion. I like hanging with people, don't get me wrong - but this was a me trip. Time to recharge. To remember I am kind of a cool chick. I'm not a troll. People like me for being myself, being real.
5)I like to send people things to make them smile. Or laugh. It makes me happy. I don't do this for everyone, mind you. I have some folks that are way more than just friends to me. You all mean the world to me, and I hope it shows.
6)Every day that I think my daughter is done surprising me, she goes one step higher. This girl - she doesn't settle for the ordinary. She fought hard to get to where she is, and now? New job, higher pay. Go get 'em, Jess! That's my girl. I am so freaking proud of you and humbled to be your mom and your friend.
7)Coffee is my soulmate. The amount of caffeine I can handle astonishes even me.
8)I won't be supermodel material tomorrow. I know- shocker! If I want to lose weight, I will. I just want to be healthy, happy, and cared about. If I have a few extra pounds, it isn't the end of the world. All women, no matter what their size, are beautiful. I think the body is amazing and I like art of the body- male, female - doesn't matter. Women with curves are sexy. Guys with a belly are sexy. To me, it's the eyes, your smile, your sense of humor - the whole package. Never drawn to just one type.
9)Dealing with your ex husband is not enjoyable. I'd rather not. I also know why with 100% certainty why we are no longer married. I personally believe that marriage isn't a necessary component.
I've had two. I don't see the point of three. If you want to be with someone, it is your choice. A relationship is only as good as the communication in it. Are you friends? Do you like any of the same things? Do you enjoy sex? If something good happens to you, is this the person you want to share it with? Do they make you smile? If you can't say yes, then maybe that's not what you need. I couldn't be with someone if I can't share things with them. It is possible to connect with someone and never have a marriage.
10)I still love to write. I always will.
So yes, once again the self proclaimed Geek Girl learns more about life and such. And shares with you...you poor, poor suckers. Only kidding.
Much love until we meet again-
Angie
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